Saturday, May 8, 2010

Commit to Begin

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” - Ambrose Redmoon

A friend sent this to me on Facebook today, "I can't tell you how impressed I am with you. To have the talent, the umph to make it happen and the guts to put yourself into each piece and put it out there. Any of that would be amazing but doing it all, is beyond!"

A lot of people, especially those who worked with me when I was "Fun and Games Engineer," will be surprised to hear me say what I said to her:

"I didn't always have the guts or the umph! I've had to do a lot of inner searching, discovering, and healing. I'm actually petrified of being "seen" and have to continually work on overcoming a pattern of being a master at hiding. My hands were literally shaking as I was trying to sew new bags a week before we brought the stuff to Moxie because I was so scared to put myself out there. It's easier on the internet because you can't see people react. No one sees me quaking in my shoes. But I'm learning to feel the fear and do it anyway. And yes, there will always be critics. I'll deal with that one step at a time! LOL!"

I've learned over years that what works for me when I'm really committed to something is take it one step at a time. Begin with a commitment to keep going no matter what. When I was a graphic designer, there were times when I felt a project was above my talent and I was afraid to fail or to make a mess of it so I would decline and wouldn't even try it for fear of looking bad. But when I knew Glint Gear was something I was committed to creating and saw a possibility of self expression beyond myself, I promised myself I'd take it one step at a time and learn as I go instead of waiting until I had mastered it. I'm so glad I didn't wait, because I've learned so much in this process! I didn't even know how to sew on the painted canvas at first. No one has seen the countless "flops" that I've created as I learned to work within this new space! I'm also learning to rely on a support network of friends and family who believe in me no matter what and help me to keep putting myself out there.

What are you inspired to do but are holding yourself back by patterns of perfectionism, fear of failure or not wanting to look bad? Commit to yourself to just begin, with whatever steps you have the courage to make right now. You want to sing? Make a call to inquire about the cost of singing lessons. Then take another step, then another.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." 
     -W.H. Murray

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